I found myself in such a weird place in the weeks and months after Lyndsie went home to Heaven. I was a broken husband, a dad who was struggling to be present for my two children and a communicator trying to share Lyndsie’s beautiful impact on my life and the hope we have in Jesus.
I prayed all that time that my purpose of pointing others to Jesus would begin to outweigh the pain that was crushing my heart. I didn’t want to waste the beauty and love I had experienced but I still had to make the decision to take the next step forward in those moments when all I wanted to do was shut it all out.
One of the biggest frustrations I experienced during that time was feeling like I wasn't able to complete anything I started. It literally felt like grief had brought instant ADD into my life. I couldn't stay on task with anything, I had a hard time getting past the first chapter of a book and couldn't remember appointments and deadlines. As someone who likes to check things off a list and see something through from start to finish, I was so discouraged and began to lose a lot of my confidence in my abilities.
At the peak of that season of struggle, I was blessed with a job in Augusta and finally able to move to the same city as my children for the first time in 10 months. Lyndsie and I had been a part of the incredible church family at Sherwood Baptist Church so moving to Augusta meant looking for a new church home. My first Sunday at Stevens Creek Church - Augusta, I felt the love and support from the body of Christ there. Strangers became family, friends became brothers in Christ and my desire to help broken people was only confirmed more as I connected.
I quickly found myself serving in the youth ministry and building relationships with the youth pastors in the community. I became part of a team with a mission to equip and have a city filled with young people United under the name of Jesus. I loved every minute of it! I got to be part of something so much bigger than anything I could have done on my own and I was able to see something go from an idea to a reality. The wins and accomplishments of the team (salvations and connecting a city) were wins and accomplishments for me too. As someone who was struggling with not feeling like I was winning at anything, it was a major breakthrough and encouragement to my soul when I needed it most.
Connecting with a group or a team may look different for you. It could look like going to church, joining a team, signing up for a small group, becoming a part of a support group or even getting together with some friends and doing something impactful together. But whatever you feel called to do, you will find that we were not meant to do life alone and being a part of something bigger than yourself allows you to accomplish goals that you may struggle to complete on your own. It will increase your confidence in God's plan for you, it will help your heart heal and it will restore your sense of purpose in life.
So, if you find yourself in that same place of struggle, I want to encourage you to take that next step forward in faith and believe that God is calling you to something so much bigger than yourself.